The other day I posted up on my twitter and facebook that I need new ideas for my website and someone told me I should do a few posts where I give advice. I thought it was a great idea... and someone wrote me!
I'm not an official expert on life or anything, but I have had many experiences and I always choose to learn from them and help others out with advice so they don't have to make the same mistakes.
Take a look at what I had to say to one of my friends when she wrote me and told me about a situation she had with one of her friends. Now I know this person and who she's talking about, but I'm not going to say! All I'm going to say is that she is my age (in high school) and she used to talk to this one guy, as in more than friends, and they stopped talking and now they're talking again...
Anyways, here's what she had to say...
Dear Brandon,
I'm not sure what to do about something, me and this guy used to talk (like more than friends) and things got pretty bad til we just stopped talking for a few months. well we're talking again but just as friends. but i dont know if that's because we're over eachother or because he has a girlfriend. sometimes when i think about how we used to be it makes me act awkward. and also i kindof still have feelings but i'm not sure if he does. he has a girlfriend. i don't know what to do pleasseeee helppp meeee!
My Answer: Well I've never been in this situation but I have a few things to say about it. Obviously. I know that the way you and him used to talk was pretty intense haha... and I'm not sure if someone can go from talking to someone like that to just being regular friends with them. I may be wrong, but I think those feelings you had for that person will probably be there for a while whether you can control it or not. You have to remember, he has a girlfriend now and you're role now is just a friend. You're pretty smart about this kinda stuff and I think you pretty much know where your boundaries are with this person. You just have to learn how to control it because once you cross that line, there's no going back. A whole bunch of drama would probably start. And one thing you didn't mention that I know is that you don't like his new girlfriend haha... When it comes to this person you have to keep in mind that that's his girlfriend and you have to put it aside that you don't like her. Don't make any jokes about her and don't start anything with her. You don't have to try and be her friend just because you and him are friends again, you just can't be mean! ... As far as making it not awkward, I'm not sure what I should tell you because that's something I deal with with people on a daily basis. Sometimes it's just going to be awkward. What an awkward thing to say, but it's true. There's nothing you can really do about it except for talk to him about it. Try saying something like "isn't it weird how we used to talk?!" and see what he has to say. If you do that I think it will get rid of at least half of the huge elephant in the room. So basically, when dealing with this situation you just have to remember: you and this person are friends now so know and respect you're boundaries, and since you're friends you also should know you can talk to him about anything even about being awkward.
Best of luck, Brandon
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