Friendship

   Okay, so I do realize that my last post about insecurities was a little bit jumbled up and not that well written, but I just wanted to get that message out and I couldn't help it! Plus it was really late haha! Also, my first two posts after my 'welcome' post were kind of fun and for entertainment, so I wanted to write about serious things. This time it's friendship! Hope you enjoy... By the way, thank you to Marina for fixing my picture that's at the top!
   Among other things, my friends are one of the MOST important things to me. I always try to be a good friend to each and every one of them. What does "being a good friend" mean anyways? To me, it means being a good listener when they need to talk, giving advice when they need it most, not leading them down the wrong path, or just simply hanging out with them when they're bored. It also means not betraying them or doing anything to hurt them. Sometimes it is really hard to be a good friend to someone though, and that's when this thing called decisions comes into play. As a person who is trying to be a good friend to someone, you need to be able to make decisions that will not only benefit you, but will benefit your friend too. Don't get me wrong, you should not spend your whole life only trying to please others, and there are certain situations where you have to be selfish, but a pretty big percentage of the time, you need to decide what is best for both of you.  
   Now let's talk about when you have been nothing but a good friend to someone, and then... they betray you. Betrayal. This could mean a number of things: hooking up with your ex girlfriend or boyfriend, spreading rumors about you, not defending you when you need it, talking about you behind your back, etc. What do you do? Well depending on the severity of the damage, my rules are usually:

1. Repair should take time.
2. An explanation is needed.
3. They need to admit what they did.
4. They need to be truly sorry.
5. They need to do multiple things to gain your trust back.

   And when the "betrayer" does not do these things, they're out. It sucks, but in the end it is what's best for you. Sometimes these things do happen, and I hate when someone who had a friend screw them over automatically takes their friend back the next day, because it usually happens again. And again. And again. AND again. It's not about holding grudges, (that's not healthy!) but it's about that person needing to make an effort towards the friendship too. Friendship is not a one-sided thing.
   My reasons for writing about friendship is because I want people to not only have many great friends, but to pick the right friends too. The way I go about getting close to my friends is a process that is seeming to work really well lately. First, the person is just someone that I occasionally talk to. Maybe not even talk to, but just comment on some of their status' on myspace or facebook. After that, I start talking to them, getting to know more about them and really seeing if the friendship could work. Then, after a LONG while of talking and hanging out occasionally (even if it's just sitting with them at lunch at school), I start to tell them things about situations are more deep things that are going on in my life, and they will eventually start to do the same thing. This is called mutual trust... Well at least according to me. Every friendship should have trust. You should be able to trust your friends and trust that they have your best interest at heart. You should be able to call this person when you need them and they should be able to do the same to you. You should set aside time for your friends and go to parties with them or anything really. Bottom line, your friends should be there for you, and you should be there for them.

In the past, I have had my fair share of problems with friends, but right now, it seems I have learned a lot from those mistakes and they have helped me to grow and move on with life. I don't think many people realize how important this is, but it is SO important to not let people walk all over you, use you, or pretend to be your friend. So be careful. I hope that I was able to give out at least a few tips to you all that will help you in the future. I've already made some mistakes with friends and I've learned from them so I hope that you can take some of my advice and use it to your advantage so you don't have to make those same mistakes. As always, thank you for taking time out of your day to come to my website and read my post. It really does mean the world to me because at the end of the day, this is my first step to reaching the world with my messages. Feel free to leave comments, and once again thank you all so much.

Stay fly and honest.

-B