There are many things in life that are not fair. One of them is having the experience of someone cheating on you. Most times, the first question that comes to mind when this happens is, Why? But, let's be honest- does it really matter why someone would cheat on you? No matter what their reasons are, none of them will ever be valid. The second question that may come to mind is usually, What could I have done to prevent this? And, I can already tell you the answer- Unless you want to be in a stalking relationship where you keep your eye on your man or woman 24/7 (also known as "unhealthy"), there is not one thing you could have done to prevent a cheater from cheating. It is not your fault. Of course, if you find out your significant other has cheated on you, you have to let go. Move on. Cheating is a form of an abusive relationship because it involves lying, deception, and causes pain. Sometimes this pain can hurt just as much as physical pain.
The one thing you have to understand when someone cheats on you, is that if they really did love you, they wouldn't have betrayed you. When someone loves you, they don't go and look for something somewhere else. Now, when you understand that what you had wasn't really true love, realize that the best thing for yourself to do would be to move on. Why would you want someone who is not willing to give you their 100%? Do not think that you can change your significant other into making them want you. You cannot change anyone. So, do not also blame yourself for not helping someone change because it is not your responsibility. You have to let go of any thought that you may have had that you could have done something to prevent your partner from cheating on you.
When someone is caught cheating, they may try to feed you lies and make you think that they just want to end the relationship for other reasons. When you know for a fact that that isn't the case, the only thing you should do is let it be known to your significant other that you know the real reason and that YOU are going to be the one to not put up with that. Then, move on. Getting revenge or dwelling on the fact that they lied to you will do nothing. Cut ties with this person and do what is going to be healthy for you. Maybe it is best that you don't jump right into a new relationship with someone else- filling a void can be harmful because they bring forth false feelings that you may recognize one day. Take time for yourself to be free. Take pride in knowing that you tried your best in a relationship and that it failed because someone else made a mistake. Learn. Learn that sometimes people will hurt you and that at the end of the day, you have the ability to come back on top. Enjoy your life with your friends and your family and get to really know yourself. The worst thing you can do when someone cheats on you is dwell. Move forward. Surround yourself with positive people who want to see you do good and do not acknowledge those who betray you or bring you down. Find your happiness, because to be successful in life- you must be happy.
-B
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