I have seen a lot of breakups and one thing I know for sure is that most of the time, it is extremely hard to get over that person, especially if you dated them for a long time. Don't worry though, it happens to everyone, you are not alone. Just because your relationship ends does not mean you have nobody. Enjoy your friends and family and take time to discover who you are with out the distractions of a girl or boy. It is normal to be devastated or even depressed when you experience a break up, but (this is such a cliche) time will heal all wounds. Usually after a few months, you will be over it, so don't stress over "what could have been" because it is not worth the pain. By dwelling over the past, all you are doing is reliving the mistakes that were made that led up to the breakup, and what does that do for you? Nothing. Just learn from it, know not to make those mistakes in your next relationship, and move on. That is the #1 key: move on. When you get out of a relationship, you are taking steps forward, don't take any steps backward. It's like walking. When you walk, you walk forward, you may not always know where you are going, but you always have a pretty good idea. When you walk backwards, it's almost impossible to know exactly where you are going and you have to constantly keep your guard up. In other words, moving on you are sure things will end up positively, if you keep thinking about how bad your relationship was or how bad the break up was and you want to get back with that person, you never know if it will end up bad again because what stopped it from going wrong the first time?
Okay, all this talk about moving on and not looking back is great, but for the most part that only applies when you are in an abusive (emotional or physical) relationship, you were cheated on, or anything else happened that you consider "crossed the line". If you were dating someone for only a couple months and you both decide to break up but then you both decide that your feelings for each other come back, go ahead and give that relationship a second chance. Every relationship deserves a second chance. Just remember that I said a second chance. Not a third. Not a fourth. Not a tenth. I sound dramatic, but you know it happens! When you give someone chances over and over and over again, it has many negative effects. That person thinks they can do what ever they want and you will always take them back, so they will continuously push your boundaries, and you can sometimes become dependent on that person. Do not ever become dependent on anyone. Know that you are strong enough to do what ever you want for yourself and you don't truly need anybody.
So, what are some top tips for getting over someone and moving on?
- Delete, Delete, Delete! Delete that person completely from your life, literally. Delete their number, delete them off of your Facebook or your Twitter, and just do not have contact with that person for as long as you are still emotionally attached to that person. It's okay to stay friends with an ex, just be sure you like them only on a friend level, and be real with yourself about that. If you still like them as more than a friend and you know there's not a chance things could go back to the way they were, you are not ready to just be friends.
- Dive into work, or school-work. Focus on making amazing grades for yourself and do your absolute best every day at your job. This will result in positive feedback from others causing you to understand that you can be happy with out your ex-significant other.
- Get a new vocabulary. Don't ever speak of their name unless new situations are occurring. Tell your friends that you are no longer allowed to speak of them because if you do, it will most likely be something about the past (which again, you do not want to dwell over).
- Play the field. You don't have to go on a full on search for your soul mate, just have fun and talk to a lot of different people. You don't always have to be in a serious relationship, just let those people know that that is your game plan so no one gets hurt.
Like I said, getting over a break up takes time. It can sometimes seem like you will never be over that person, but trust me, you will move on sooner or later. Move on, let go of the past, and focus on how you can make yourself happy with out depending on that girl or boy. I hope this helped you all out and I hope you all keep these tips in mind because more than likely, you are not going to stay with your significant other forever... This is just high school. Say you live for 100 years, high school only takes up 4% of your life. You will be okay, there is no other option.
-Brandon
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