Giving Advice on Being Noticed...

As many of you may know, one of my most favorite things to do is give advice, and I love when people write to me and ask me for it. So last week somebody left a comment and asked this:

dear b,

so question!? i am what people would say the invisible girl and duh who wants to be that how do i show guys i can be the fun girlfriend without looking like i am trying to hard?!

        -boy trouble

My response: 

   Well, there are a few different ways to look at this situation, and a few different ways to deal with it as well.

   First, I could tell you to just wait until you find a guy who will like you for you, and second, I could give you a few tips on how to be noticed more.

   No matter what, you need to stay true to yourself and be who you are. That's actually the #1 rule of life (according to me lol)...

   Option 1: Don't change a thing about how you act or how you look. There is a guy out there who is looking for exactly what you have. It's all about timing and when you are going to meet him. So don't worry- your day will come one day when you meet that guy who likes you for you and he will notice you no matter what.

   Option 2: First things first, what is going to get you noticed by guys? Wardrobe? Hair? Personality? Try all of the above... If you don't want to seem like you are overdoing it, then don't go out and buy a whole bunch of new clothes and high heels and stuff like that. Go into your closet, look at what you have and put a few nice outfits together. They don't have to be so over-the-top and dressy, wear an outfit that is going to make you feel comfortable while also looking good at the same time. If you wear your hair one way all the time, try changing it up every once in a while. For example, if you always wear a pony tail, let it down sometimes. Again, you don't have to go crazy and spend hours curling/straightening/blow-drying, just do something different. This might sound surprising to a lot of girls, but most guys don't look for a girl who has tons of makeup on and the most extravagant clothing. Most guys like when girls only have on a little bit of makeup and maybe some gloss, because we really do like the natural, effortless look. I can't stress it enough- don't go crazy! Lastly, if you want to be noticed by guys, the best accessory you can have is... a smile! Smiling and laughing all the time will let guys know that you are not only happy (which every guy wants), but you are approachable and also have a sense of humor. Girls are just more attractive when they're smiling, that's just that.

   Option 3: Combine Option 1 and 2. Be yourself, stick to the way you act, but also step up your wardrobe and looks. This is the best option...

   Just a couple things to remember... If you are wanting to be noticed, you cannot be constantly worried about overdoing it or trying too hard. You obviously have to keep it in mind if you want to follow the tips above but you can't always have it written on your hand that you are about to look stupid trying too hard. Go for it.

   I have a feeling that you have a guy in your mind that you might have a crush on... You never know if he notices you or not! Maybe he's too shy to talk to you so maybe you have to make the move. It all depends on how bad you want that person. It will probably be hard to talk to him, so just try to make eye contact with him every once in a while at first, and if he still doesn't talk to you, then make your move.

   So those are my main tips... After a couple months (because it will take some time), write me again and keep me updated on if this helped. If it doesn't, then I'll give you tips on what you did right or wrong...

   For you and others who are reading this, I know I have preached, and preached, and preached about letting your beauty come from within. This is still so true. You need to become comfortable within yourself before you worry about your exterior looks... However, if it takes a little extra effort with your clothes and a little bit of lip gloss to feel good about yourself, then I'm all for it. Do what you need to do in order to feel confident, as long as it is not a.) something that will harm you or others and b.) something negative. If you need more tips on being confident, Click Here to read a previous blog I wrote about that...

So I really hope I have helped you out some, and I thank you so much for writing in. The most important things for you to remember are, stay true to yourself, be comfortable with whatever you are going to do, and last but not least, go for it.

Thanks for reading :)

-B